Want to be happier? Begin by being good to yourself. That may sound
self-evident, but too many people skip this step and try to make
themselves happy by chasing ever-higher goals, or holding themselves to ever-greater standards of perfection.
Ironically, being good to yourself instead will bring you closer to achieving those lofty ambitions.
The more you value yourself, especially at work, the more you build confidence.
In fact, the happiest people go out of their way to treat themselves right and they do something nice for themselves each day. They set appropriate boundaries and take care of themselves by saying no to things when they need to. "When you love yourself, you understand that saying no to something you don't want to do is an act of kindness, and you don't walk around with negative feelings toward the person who asked you to do something you didn't want to do.
Not only is being kind to yourself good for your career, it's good for your relationships too. The more you build self-love, the more you have to give to others.
Here are 11 acts of kindness happy people perform for themselves--and so should you:
1. Commit to doing one nice thing for yourself every day.
Do your best to do something loving for yourself, however big or small.Make it a daily commitment and keeping that commitment will bring real benefits, she says. "It motivates you to take better care of yourself, go after your dreams, and not let people treat you poorly."2. Listen to yourself.
That is, listen to how you talk to yourself, and the internal tone of voice you use. (Mine tends to resemble my mother's in a lecturing mode.) "We often criticize ourselves in our own heads and that brings down our confidence. When you love yourself, you know you're good enough that you have to stop talking to yourself in negative terms.3. Forgive yourself.
Forgiveness is a big part of it. It's hard, because most of us have been getting angry at ourselves for all the things we do wrong all our lives. People get into trouble because they try so hard to be perfect and then they beat themselves up when they're not. Loving yourself means accepting that you're stuck inside your own imperfect skin.I recommend this exercise to start forgiving yourself: "Look in the mirror and say, 'I love you and I forgive you.'"
4. Accept yourself as you are right now.
For starters, that means accepting the body that you have today. Body image is a big stumbling block, and so is age. When you love yourself, you try to be the best person you can be in the body that you have, and that's as much as you can do.Self-acceptance also means accepting your income and success level as they are, she says. "It's OK not to be making a certain amount by the time you get to a certain age. Entrepreneurs get a lot of criticism when people say, 'Why are you wasting your time doing that?' or 'You're not successful enough!'"
Instead, I recommend asking yourself a simple question: "Am I happy with what I'm doing?
5. Eliminate toxic people in your life and workplace.
This may be easier said than done, but avoid tying yourself to clients, business partners, investors, or employees who make you unhappy. It's obviously harder to take the same approach with family members, there's no reason to put up with people saying or doing things that are unkind. "If people say mean things to me, I let them know if they talk to me like that I'm going to walk away or hang up the phone," she says.6. Prioritize your health.
"I take supplements and vitamins, I exercise, and I recently cut out sugar for seven weeks as an act of self-love. But be careful--don't let caring for your health turn into a reason to beat yourself up if you slip. Yesterday, I had pizza, i've been wanting them ever since they temporarily stopped selling them. So I bought some and I ate them. I don't beat myself up when I have a treat.7. Stop skipping meals.
"People say, 'I've been so busy I had no time to eat today That's a very unloving thing to do. Grab something, even if it's just a salad.Neuroscience tells us that letting your blood sugar sink sends stress signals to your brain. So if you truly can't stop and grab a meal, make sure you have healthy snacks at your desk.
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